Tell me what you think.

Thank Vinny for finding this treasure.

———-> Are you REALLY being yourself? The weird, goofy, spontaneous, outgoing, shy, or fun self?

The REAL DEAL if you want to really make it and become successful not only in any career but in life: be authentic and genuine with people. Remember, no matter how weird or crazy you are, you will always find your tribe.

You might be thinking -> What if the world doesn’t like me that way? I’ve been taught by society  to act so people don’t think I’m weird or different. This is all a bunch of (you know what).

Challenge yourself as I have been recently, to catch yourself being disingenuous. What do you mean? Do you talk about things you don’t really care about or have real passion for? Do you really enjoy watching hockey on Friday nights with the boys or are you just doing it to fit in? Do you act important or unapproachable at events or public places? (f.y.i most important people are pretty easy going and if they are not they are probably not that important in the first place.)

Some of you might also say -> I am a shy person and that is just who I am!

Really? Well, here is the last question:

When did you sit down and define yourself?

I am grateful to have many opportunities and great people around me. I have an enormous potential to make things happen or to ‘ship’ as Seth Godin likes to say. The reality is – SO DO YOU! But how come we always stop ourselves from trying to make a dent in this world (a positive dent)? How come so many of us are afraid to stand out and not be average?

Instead many of us are just cogs.

We are afraid to get criticized, to fail, be judged, laughed at, or looked the wrong way. We often think of the bad things that may happen when we undertake an endeavour. This is your lizard brain speaking and we all need to stop listening to it and instead- SHIP!

To tell you the truth, I’ve been battling my lizard brain for some time now; see the last time I posted anything on this blog. Yes, I was busy, yes I was making things happen but we all have time to do something extra that we are truly passionate about and I wasn’t doing it. Instead, I was afraid of what people will think of my grammar or my ideas.

WHAT IF?

A phrase that many of us face… What if what?

You fall flat on your face?

I recently witnessed someone achieve one of their dreams and overcome their fears, quickly being brought down after getting hate mail right after. The reality, people will always laugh, point, and criticize… no matter how successful you become or how nice you are.

You have to do it for yourself and for the people that you inspire to ACT and make a difference in their life. Ignore all others and your lizard brain!

Highly Recommend the video below…

Last year has been filled with soul searching as the pace of our western lifestyle has got me asking myself questions. One question that kept being repeated was – “Who am I?” Not my job title, not the small acronyms after my name on a business card, or the business I run or work for.

I.

My biggest realization this past year has been that we often forget who we are or never knew in the first place. We all have been procrastinators. Not just procrastinating at work but procrastinating pleasure and taking time to think and ask ourselves questions. (Further Reading: Procrastinating Pleasure)

Well, it’s true.

Finding yourself and especially finding your Element (The place where the things you love to do and the things you are good at come together) isn’t easy but the search for these vital elements is required. I believe that if we find ourselves, it will be easier to cope with the present moment and future events that we sometimes can’t control.

Take it easy.

I quickly learned that you cannot find yourself or your element in a day, week, month, or even a year. And you can’t just spend all time lying on the grass asking – “Who am I?” What we can all do is keep an open mind and try new things in life. And only through new experiences will you be able to find your passions and yourself. Don’t stress on finding yourself right away.

Asking questions is important.

As the clock winds down, try asking yourself these questions:

• Who am I if I lose my job/career?
• Who am I if I lose my partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband?
• Who am I behind the small talk conversations I have on a daily basis?

And most importantly:

• When you look back on your life in your death bed, what do you want to have remembered?

These are the questions that I have asked myself in the past year and have quickly realized that life is moving at an ever increasing rate and to fully take charge of it, you have to find out what is important to you and take small daily actions to achieve your dreams.

And don’t forget to dream big! Because dreams do come true.

One of my dreams came true this year. A couple of years ago I dreamed of meeting a woman of my dreams: caring, understanding, beautiful, romantic who accepts me for who I am. This dream came true in 2007, although at that time we already knew each other for sometime but didn’t yet know that we were a perfect match.

And this summer another dream came true. As my most cherished moment the past year has been proposing to my future wife Mimi in Positano, Italy. Maybe you can even say that two dreams came true as I always dreamed of going to Italy, one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Marriage.

Many have asked me:

• Are you excited?
• Why so young?
• Are you sure? Crazy?
• Why are you getting married?
• It will change everything, you know that right?

Excited for marriage – sure. But what I love about our relationship is that we don’t put importance on one date as we are excited about our relationship every day. Marriage is just a way for us to show our love for each other.

Friends and money.

They never mix. This is what I learned this year. A great long friendship came to an end due to this circumstance. The lesson here: friends and money can work but only on the basis that when you lend money you don’t have the expectation of ever seeing that money again or do not rely on that money in the near future.

Expectations and Relationships.

Expectations are a big part of our lives and are very important but they also tend to make things difficult. Many of us always expect others to take us out, call us on our birthdays, give us presents, maintain friendships, or be romantic. Hence, this year I have realized that you have to expect things from yourself first.

Wonder why friends don’t call you? Well, when is the last time you called your friend? Is your boyfriend not being romantic? Well, when is the last time you did something special or romantic for him?

If we want anything to happen in life, we have to take actions ourselves. Call your old friends, give people presents, and send those handwritten greetings cards in the mail.

And don’t expect anything in return!

Don’t expect anything in return? You crazy?

Not really as another realization I had this year is that one of the most effective ways to get people to change or do the things you expect them to do is to be a great example by doing things yourself, not expecting anything in return, or simply inspiring them to act.

Be a man/woman of your actions, not words.

2010.

Looking forward to it.

Image Credit: Kendall Helmstetter Gelner

One of my favourite speeches of all time is Ken Robinson’s TED talk on “How School Kills Creativity”. I even have it featured on the top slider above (Yes, it’s that good!). Ken Robinson opened a whole new world to me, a world that made total sense and answered a very important question that I frequently found myself asking throughout high school and university – “Why do I suck at statistics and math in general?”

I’m not horrible and quite frankly very capable of achieving a tolerable mark, got a C+ in my university quantitative methods course. However, solving math problems never felt natural to me. Preset methodology and a complete lack of creativity in following steps to get the one and only answer. And it was this idea that the answer will always be the same without having the ability to re-invent* the set equation or model that made the course and many months in university dreadful. I am not saying that statistics or math cannot be creative, it certainly can. I am just not a creative mathematician.

Back to Ken Robinson and Creativity

Ken Robinson believes that creativity is about having original ideas and that creativity is where you are pushing the boundaries to new and unexplored territories. This can certainly be achieved in statistics but you cannot make anyone learn anything, some are just better at other things.  Even though people may look similar, they still think in very different ways. People also see the world in different ways and people certainly have different strengths. And the problem that lies within our education system is that we are putting everyone through the same mill except for a few in specialty schools.

Definitely not!

Everyone of us has a purpose or a talent they need to discover. And the problem in our society is that many underestimate their intelligence and capacity. The quote right beside my computer is true, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”

In the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) commencement speech below, Ken Robinson urges people to follow their passions. He continues says that a life is not a one way street, if you find your passion- your world will transform around you. If you do the things that fulfill you – your life will take on a greater purpose and meaning.

And this is the exact moment, you might say:

I have to agree, it`s not and I`ll be honest with you – I still haven`t found my passion. But what I am doing and what you can still keep doing is to keep searching for it.

Human talent is very deep…

Ken Robinson`s example of Death Valley in Spring 2005 shows the true potential in everyone one of us. “Death Valley is called Death Valley for a reason,” he says, as it seems as there is no life there. But during winter 2005, 6 inches of rain fell onto Death Valley, encouraging flowers to sprout – a once in a lifetime spectacle.

Death Valley was not dead but simply dormant as right beneath what seemed liked dead surface are the seeds of possibility, simply waiting for the right conditions to come. And when the conditions come, life and growth is predestined.

This applies to all of us. Life cannot resist the right conditions. But you have to create these right conditions. Go out, discover, fail, learn, feel, be open, and try new things for your own creative flourishing and your success will be waiting to be discovered. As Ken puts it, always keep your mind alive, feed your imagination, and never take any ideas for granted.

Simply, use everything you have.

Who knows- I may have just discovered my passion for developing people`s talents.

If you are too lazy to read my summary of the Second Circle philosophy or enjoy watching videos instead, then watch Patsy explain it herself at the end of this post (10 min). One word- Awesome!

“To be or not to be, that is the question.”- You might recognize this line as being one of the most famous Shakespeare creations and Patsy Rodenburg explores this exact line in her vocal philosophy of the Second Circle. Patsy explains the three energy states or ‘circles’ that we tend to be in (First, Second, and Third) and further proves that we all have a choice to live in the present in the Second Circle with yourself and others. Patsy Rodenburg’s focuses many aspects of her philosophy on Shakespeare for the reason that“he revealed to us that we can only love unconditionally, find intimacy, be equal with each other, use power well, if we are present to each other and the world.“

According to Patsy, it is very important to be in the right circle of energy as the natural movement of energy runs through you, your body, breath, voice, and it is completely transferrable. The three circles of energy describe the ways that the three basic human energies move. Our natural presence is in the Second Circle and the First and Third Circles only take us away from being fully present. Patsy’s exercises enable us to polish every facet of our presence: “posture, breath, voice, sensory awareness, listening, clear thinking, generosity of heart, and sheer bravery” which enable us to stay in the Second Circle.

The First Circle of energy or the Circle of Self and Withdrawal is all about inwards energy that falls back inside a person. The First Circle absorbs energy from others and draws all outer stimuli inward. Whenever a person is in the First Circle, they are not observant about people or objects outside themselves and their interest in others is only a way to illuminate themselves.

The Third Circle or the Circle of Bluff and Force is full of energy that is pushed out and very energized. It can often be seen in people that are loud and often take others peoples space. The energy in the Third Circle is untargeted and outward-moving as the attention is fully outside them while at the same time lacking focus and detail. People in the Third Circle may “speak eloquently, sound enthusiastic and charming,” but clearly don’t listen well. They look through people, scanning the surface of every interaction rather than being fully present with them.

The Second Circle is all about being engaged, connected, and fully present. We are born in this circle and our survival strongly depends on our ability to stay there. However, we lose many aspects of our natural presence through new learned habits that we pick up from our often never-present society. Your passion and charisma is fully displayed when you are in the Second Circle as you are able to fully focus and connect with an another being. When you are present, there is focus and this allows complete transfer of energy between people and other beings. In the Second Circle, there is equality and this gives room for intimacy and connectedness.

Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give” and according to Patsy Rodenburg, in order to make our lives meaningful and complete, we have to make a decision to stay present which will enable us to not only make ourselves feel good but to also make others feel good around us.

Image Credit: Verne Ho

Many people ask, how can you monetize social media? Where is the ROI? These are questions with long answers and sometimes with no answers at all. But they don’t have to be, as some companies simply get it and don’t stress over the minor details, always ready to take on a challenge.

One of the best recent social collaborations that I’ve seen is the Pay It Backward event organized by the DailyChallenge with a major sponsor being Second Cup and Silk. It was a special event because I believe everyone turned out a winner at the end of the day – Second Cup probably had the best return on their investment that was probably a fraction of a 30-sec TV Spot, Sick Kids Hospital receiving up to $15,000 in donations, DailyChallenge receiving great coverage on traditional and digital media, and most importantly people who get felt great about their small effort to make a difference and realizing that being a Do Gooder can be contagious.

I wanted to share with you Mimi’s story on that day and how it connected her with not only the Second Cup brand but also with other do gooders in our community. Here is the guest post by Mimi of La Mimi:

Last Wednesday, I was really excited about the Pay It Backward event at Second Cup. If you don’t know what it is then watch the video below to find out.

I told all my family and friends about the event as I truly believe that “ONE” simple act of kindness can create a whole movement of greatness.

On the day of Pay it Backward at Second Cup, I was meeting a friend for a coffee (herbal tea in my case, because I don’t drink coffee). Unfortunately, when I arrived there she had already bought herself a drink and there was nobody behind me, so I couldn’t really pay it backward * SIGH*. In addition, there weren’t any signs about the Pay It Backward event and the staff wasn’t really telling people about it either which is pretty sad.

Later that day, after volunteering at Dress for Success on Bloor and Spadina with another friend of mine, we decided to grab a few drinks at Second Cup there in the hopes of Paying It Backward.  At first there was nobody behind me, and then I noticed a girl about my age with a bright red lipstick who was studying the menu. I asked the Barista who worked there if they participated in Sick Kids Pay It Backward Event and he assured me that they did. So, I turned around and told the girl behind me that I’m getting her a drink. You should have seen the expression on her face. She was like “Whaaat? How come you are buying me a drink?”  So I went on to explain to her that for every pay it backward purchase Second Cup would donate $5 to SickKids Hospital.  Her eyes instantly lit up and she was smiling.  “How about me? “she said. “ There is no one behind me. How can I pay it backward? Perhaps, I can buy you a cookie?”   I refused, because I wanted her to pass on this act of kindness to someone else.

I sat down and started chatting with my friend. Two minutes later, somebody walked into the Second Cup. It was heartwarming to see the delight on the girl’s face when she told some older guy that she was buying him a drink.  My friend and I started observing what seemed like a chain reaction of goodness. It was really touching and actually brought tears to our eyes. As people started buying drinks for each other– an instant connection was established- two strangers exchanged smiles and warm feelings. Perhaps it was the nicest thing that happened to some of them that day. I was just lucky to witness that moment and grateful that I was able to ignite it.

Later that day I got to thinking, do we really need a special occasion to Pay it Backward? Why don’t we make that part of our daily routine? Simple, selfless and maybe random acts of kindness like smiling at strangers, buying someone you don’t know a drink or helping and older person or female with their grocery bags can actually change someone’s outlook on life. Doing GOOD can be contagious? What choice will YOU make today?

Thank you for reading! If you have not already, why not subscribe to my RSS feed, or you can get the latest updates from me in your Email inbox for free.

Thanks for visiting and keep in touch ~ Alex.

Most of us have friends. We have friends that we keep in touch with through online social networking tools such as Facebook or Twitter. We also have friends that we communicate and have a relationship with in real life on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis.

You may have 512 Facebook friends, 4811 Twitter followers, and 12 people you consider your close friends. But how many of these people can you consider your TRUE friends? How many of these people will be there for you when your life is crumbling? How many will help you when you are struggling? Or help you go through a significant change in your life? What I am getting at is:

The author of “Never Eat Alone”, Keith Ferrazzi wants you to ask yourself these questions in his recently published book, “Who’s Got Your Back.” In a great interview with Kara Swisher of All Things Digital, Keith talks about how in today’s society, people define “being connected” by the amount of people they have in their database, Facebook or Twitter profiles, or e-mail lists, which in turn can give you a false sense of connectivity.

Being well connected is not about the quantity but rather the quality of your relationships. Keith talks about how you only really need about three people in your life to help you succeed.

Right now you may be thinking… I have people like that in my life. Do you? Really?

Are these the people…

• You can be totally wrong with.
• With whom you can let your guard down.
• Who will kick you in the ass and hold you accountable for the things you say you are going to do in your life.
• Who tell you the truth! (because most people don’t)

Do you have people like that in your life? If you don’t, it is never too late to establish such relationships.

Keith advises to find relationships that are safe enough with whom you can practice being open and accountable. You can try this with individuals online. However, meet people in real life in order to help you solidify the relationship. In addition, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and really honest because why would you want to settle to being fake.

“You can’t continue to struggle along. As too many people are living alone, are lost or just don’t have real friends. Isolation won’t get us to prosperity. Damn it, we are going to help each other to be successful by calling each other, pushing each other, encouraging each other.”- Keith Ferrazzi

Instead of growing your twitter following or having many “what you call” friends, take the time to develop deep friendships. Do this by being open to new relationships or re-connecting an old friendship. Have trust in others and at the same time be accountable to others.

Thank you for reading! If you have not already, why not subscribe to my RSS feed, or you can get the latest updates from me in your Email inbox for free.

There are times when we are stuck and just can’t get any ideas flowing in our minds. For me, today was one of those days, and to solve my dilemma I came across a neat article that jolted me with ideas and energy.

It also encouraged me to write my own list of ways I get inspired and get valuable thoughts flowing once again. Mitch Joel ‘s article, 6 Ways to Inject New Ways of Thinking Into Your Business lists some great ways to generate new ideas  for people for whom anything digital matters; if you own a business, it matters!Here are 5 Ways to Get Inspired:

1. Get Around Kids- I’m not telling you to get all Michael Jackson around kids but just observe how their actions exhibit their curiosity towards life. Whenever I seem to be stuck, I just observe my 18 month old nephew, Alex, and the way he interacts with simple objects and studies each and every small detail as he learns. Babies and kids are smarter than most initially assume, and that is exactly why these great finding were described in a recent Op-Ed article in the NY Times.
2. Sit on the Sidelines – Get outside, take a seat on the closest bench, and observe the world just as a baby would. Really get curious and try to get inspired by all the chaos that happens on the street; if you live in a city that is. After closely observing you may just get ideas on how to organize all the chaos that is happening in your life or business.
3. Take a Nap- Many problems can actually get solved while sleeping. Some of the greatest inventions were thought of when the great minds gave their brain some rest and let the kettle boil in their sleep with ideas. Just remember not to sleep your life away.
4. Read Fiction*- Reading all those business books can make you lose all your creative juices unless you are reading creatively written business books. Fiction allows us to fall in to a different world where you can be taken on an exciting journey. Most importantly, reading fiction will develop your creative thinking and empower you to think outside the box, which can come in very handy for other areas of life. Wizard of Oz, anyone?
5. Watch TED*- My parents, friends, books, internet, iPhone, and TED are on my list of people and things that transformed my life. TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) conferences gives you the access to presentations from some of the greatest minds on this planet all for the unbeatable price of free. What makes TED a source of inspiration is that its topics are always fresh and different. When you are stuck, head over to TED and take just 18 minutes of your time to get new perspectives on life. Some of my favourite TED talks can be seen on my homepage slideshow after my whacky pictures.

Here are some TED talks that are sure to inspire you:

• School Kills Creativity by Sir Ken Robinson: Our school system definitely needs a revamp.
• Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte: Life-changing story, period.
• Music and Passion by Benjamin Zander: Music can work wonders and get you to think differently.  

*Remixed from Mitch Joel’s great list.

What inspires you? Please Share.

Thank you for reading! If you have not already, why not subscribe to my RSS feed, or you can get the latest updates from me in your Email inbox for free.

Thanks for visiting and keep in touch ~ Alex.

In this truly thought-provoking TED talk, Alain de Botton explores the philosophy of success and how it’s perceived in our society.  Most importantly he talks about the significance of knowing what we want and what journey we should take in life. Something that I am personally experiencing, and you might be as well, is the battle in deciphering in exactly what direction our passions lead us. I enjoy being part of a team, solving problems, thinking creatively, public speaking, and helping business succeed through their marketing efforts. However, another part of me is drawn to helping individuals solve their financial dilemmas and grow their net worth. A career in finance or marketing – which path should I choose? And are these really my passions or were they shaped by what is considered reputable by society’s standards?

On the same thought, many people today are battling the same career anxiety or are just stuck in jobs they hate. Are you one of them? You might have not pursued your own idea of success and instead followed the masses because a certain career is more accepted by our society. We have to ask ourselves the proper questions and do what feels right because at the end of the day there isn’t certainty to the distant future in regards to our choices in life.

Enjoy the talk and the notes after the talk.

Main point:

“We should not give up on our ideas of success but should make sure that these ideas are our own; we should focus on our ideas and make sure that we own them.”

Make sure that we are truly the owners of our own ambitions because it is bad enough not getting what you want but it is even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and finding out in the end of the journey that it isn’t in fact what you wanted all along.

Let’s make sure that the ideas of success are truly our own.”

Presentation Notes

• Snobbery is a global phenomenon
• Snob is anybody who takes a small part of you and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. (Mother is an opposite of a snob)
• Hope for our careers as we have a belief that we can achieve anything in our lifetime.
• When you can’t relate to someone then you don’t envy them.
• Meritocracy (Meritocratic Society) - one in which where you got talent energy and skill, you will get to the top. Nothing should hold you back.
• Your position in life is seen as merited and deserved. Failure is frowned upon.
• Who is responsible in our lives, not gods but we are = leads to increased rates of suicide.
• Meritocratic society is a dream.
• It is not the post that should count.
• “It is a sin to judge any man by his post” – The City of God by Saint Augustine
• In modern English: It is a sin to come to a view to whom you should talk to by judging by their business card.

Don’t judge as you don’t really know what the true value of that person is.

• Alternative: Tragic Art- Art form devoted to tracing on how people fail.  
• Modern society and why it causes all of this anxiety. We live in a society where we don’t worship anything else then ourselves.
• We are naturally drawn to nature. That is why we enjoy glaciers, mountains and being in contact with something not human
• Talk about success and failure; we think we know what it means.
• Theory of success- You can’t be successful at everything, every vision of success has to have something that they are losing out on.

Main Point Once Again:

“We should not give up on our ideas of success but should make sure that these ideas are our own; we should focus on our ideas and make sure that we own them.”

“Make sure that we are truly the owners of our own ambitions because it is bad enough not getting what you want but it is even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and finding out in the end of the journey that it isn’t in fact what you wanted all along.” (Repetition is the mother of all knowledge)

Let’s make sure that the ideas of success are truly our own.

Thank you for reading! If you have not already, why not subscribe to my RSS feed, or you can get the latest updates from me in your Email inbox for free.

Thanks for visiting and keep in touch ~ Alex.